Starting Over
by xxREADER UNKNOWNxx
Summary: one shot. Zigzag's life before CGL. it doesnt seem so bad, till he screws up... angst. sort of. sumthing i did when Zig was on my mind.


Ricky looked up at the sun. It was blazing down on his long, unprotected neck and making his already wild hair stick straight out in every direction. He wondered if the sun was angry at him, or at all of Texas for some reason. It only seemed to blast in at them, and at nobody else. What had he done wrong?  
"I'm sorry for whatever I did" He said apologetically up at the sky, hoping that the sun heard him and considered cooling down for a bit. No such luck. The sun still continued to roast him to an ash. Ricky had favored the moon more because it was understanding of his limits and was refreshingly cooler. Maybe that's why the sun resented him, because he was picking favorites.  
"Hey, weird-o!" called a voice. Ricky snapped his head and saw three boys across the street from him. "Talking to yourself again? What a freak" they kept calling out insults but Ricky just drowned them out. He was so used to getting this sort of attention that it was pretty much a reflex just to ignore and continue with your business. but it still pained his heart to realize he was alone and unaccepted.  
"I'm sorry, sun, if I hurt your feelings. I wont pick anymore favorites if you just cool down" he begged.  
He wondered what was so fascinating about watching things burn. Maybe he should try it sometime. He pulled out his lighter from his pocket and watched the flame flicker before his eyes. It was almost as good as TV.  
Almost.  
By now he had reached his school: CGL High. He sighed as he pushed through the door to begin another day of turmoil and avoiding spy's cameras.  
"Hey freak"  
"Look! Its the loser with the crazy hair"  
"Man that kid is pretty screwed over, eh?"  
Laughing. Jeering. Ricky heard it all and then some.  
"Freak"  
"Weird"  
"Crazy"  
"Insane"  
_What's wrong with me?_ Ricky wondered in his first period class as he glanced around at the snickering kids. _Nothing really. I mean, they'll be kissing my ass when the government invades and I'm the only one who knows how to defeat them. But why make fun of me? Better safe than sorry.  
_Ricky ran his hands through his frizzy blond hair and tried to ignore the whispers and glances and focus on the teacher and her lecture.  
He had some small suspicions that she was studying them for lab testing, but he tried to push that instinct away. He knew his constant paranoia only got him into trouble.  
But hey, it wasn't impossible.  
"Not impossible," he mumbled to himself as he pretended to listen to the lesson.  
"Ricky? Do you have something to share with the rest of us?" asked Mrs. Landon. Ricky forced himself into reality.  
"No," he murmured. He didn't bother to explain what he was thinking. She wouldn't believe him and most likely throw him into his fifth detention this week. And it was only Tuesday. Mrs. Landon just sighed and continued to teach.  
Ricky didn't hear a word.

He glanced around him at the crowd of kids, most of them laughing and talking to their friends. One girl caught his eye in particular. She had dark brown hair with flame red streaks cutting through it, and she was walking by herself, clutching her books and glancing around nervously. She looked lost.  
Ricky suspected she was new. This might be a chance to make a friend.  
He ran up to her and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Ricky. You need help?" he asked. He noticed how blue her eyes were. Like his.  
The girl looked up at him, grateful to have someone to talk to. "Yes. My name is Sarah. Do you know where room one twenty is?"  
Ricky smiled. That was his next class. "Hey, that's my next class! I'll show you, okay?" he led her toward the class room, feeling joy rise inside of him.  
"Thanks, Ricky," she smiled as they walked in the door. She handed a note to the teacher, who Ricky half liked named. His name was Mr. David. He read it, and then directed her to her seat, which was fairy close to Ricky's.  
But not close enough to communicate. Damn it.  
He sighed and began doodling on his notebook paper as Mr. David began rambling on about something Ricky had never heard of. He wanted to get the class over with, so he could get another chance to talk to Sarah. He would not let this rare opportunity to make a real friend pass up.  
"Right Lester?" he asked. When ever he talked to Lester, people called him crazy for talking to nothing. He just told them to stop being jealous and make their own friends. Lester was all his.  
But, all the same, it would be nice to make a friend people could see. It was too bad though, Lester was such a nice person. Maybe Sarah would like him.  
Or maybe she would think he was crazy.  
Ricky stiffened. She wouldn't want to get to know him then. She would just brush him off as a freak and move on.  
He sighed. People were so complicated.  
Before he knew it, the bell rung. It scared Ricky, who was lost in his own world of friends. The surrounding kids laughed and left the room. He watched them leave before leaving himself.  
He was just opening his locker when he heard his name being called. "Ricky!" He looked up to see Sarah heading toward him, smiling.  
He smiled back. She didn't think he was crazy after all!  
"Thanks again" she said, suddenly becoming shy.  
"S'okay."  
"So...um... do you want to...uh... sit with me at lunch?"  
Ricky could feel his spirits soaring. "I'd love it!" he said, grinning.  
Sarah grinned back. "Alright. See you later," she turned around and headed for her next class. Ricky just stood there, a little bit shocked, before he too shut his locker and headed in the opposite direction.  
He saw kids whispering, but not laughing. Were they surprised they could see one of Ricky's friends? He smirked. _Serves them right_. He thought proudly. _Now I have a real friend! _He felt like the luckiest boy alive._  
_

When lunch arrived, Ricky nearly raced down the hall to meet Sarah. Sure enough, she was pacing anxiously by the salad bar. Ricky jogged up to join her.  
"Hi," He greeted.  
She smiled. "I thought you wouldn't come!" she blushed.  
"Why?"  
"Because...I thought you thought...I was...weird," she looked away, her face almost as red as her hair.  
Ricky laughed. "No way! If anything, I thought you thought_ I _was weird."  
Sarah grinned. "Really? You aren't weird!"  
_Says you.  
_Ricky shoved away the little voiced in his head and sat down at a table with Sarah. People continued to stare, but Ricky did his best to ignore them He was just happy to be able to talk to somebody without getting laughed at.

They began to talk. "I came from Washington only a few days ago. I'm still trying to adjust to the heat!" she fanned herself mockingly and Ricky chuckled. He was so lucky. She was nice, cute, _and_ funny.

"You can understand the accents, right?" He asked, just all little bit concerned. He didn't want her to not understand him.

She smiled. "Yeah, I get them,"

Ricky smiled back. "Good,"

They continued the small talk. "What kind of music do you like?"

"You like watching things burn?"

"What's Texan life like?"

"What's Washington life like?"

"You like cats?"

"What were your friends like back home?"

"Are the teachers nice?"

"What's your favorite color?"

The questions came flying out of each others' mouth, and Ricky found they had more in common than he expected. She had a fascination for fire, and understood the whole 'imaginary friends' thing.

She told him she got made fun of a lot because of her hair. Ricky grinned inwardly; if he grinned outwardly, it might send the wrong message.

"Me too," he sighed and jabbed at his food with his fork, too excited to eat.

But much too soon, lunch was over. He growled as he watched Sarah walk away. People watched him the whole walk back toward his classroom as he talked to himself.

"I actually have a real friend. She's cute, too." Ricky smiled when ever he saw Sarah's face in his mind. "I wonder if... No, she cant possibly like me."

_Could she?_

.

Over the next few days, Sarah and Ricky hung out almost every second. Both of them were pleased to have a real friend to talk to, instead of talking to air all the time. Ricky was especially elated, since they grew closer everyday, until they were almost inseparable.

Ricky was finally accepted. Even it was by one person, it was better than none.

It was a _lot_ better than none.

Then one day, Sarah invited him to the local Starbucks to have coffee after school. Ricky wondered if it was a friend's thing, or a date-y thing, since they never hung out after or before school hours. He felt too embarrassed to ask, so he wandered school the rest of the day, pondering that until his brain hurt.

He opened his lighter and crouched by a stray piece of Styrofoam. Maybe watching something burn would help him think…

.

Ricky watched in horror as the fire rapidly fed off the dry grass and latched onto the portable classroom. What had he just done?

The fire department arrived, and kids were sneering at him and yelling things in his direction. He didn't notice much. He only saw one disappointed face in the crowd.

Sarah's.

.

Why did he have to light that Styrofoam on fire? Why did he have to watch it burn and not put it out? Why did he even have to bring his lighter to school that day? And all he had for a lame excuse was "I like watching things burn"

As Ricky sat on the hot, dusty bus toward the middle of nowhere, he thought nothing except Sarah's disappointed face. How she watched him with clenched teeth and a tear in her eye as the police shoved him in the back of the car and drove off.

He looked out the window and saw boys' faces, all of them laughing when they caught sight of Ricky's hair and his bobbing neck.

He sighed. _I guess I deserve that. The one chance I get to have a friend, to be normal, I ruined it. Now I have to start all over again…_


End file.
